Aggression

I have spent most of my life in defensive-aggresive mode. Meaning, I wasnt the kind of person to take crap from people in any walk of my life. If you stepped up, id kick you down. If you got in my face, I would kick your teeth in. Its just the nature of what I thought was right. These last few years have been the change for me as I have made concious efforts to be a different person. I even went to therapy to help me deal with my aggression and anger etc this year. Why would I do this? You know I never used to question my motives until lately. I feel as iff I was letting down people and living life using fear tactics to control my surroundings. It was time a long time ago to be a better person.

We are creatures of habit they say and I will always have the aggro habit in me to break. The being an ass, a dick a jerk etc.. And it will creep out from time to time. I am FAR from perfect. But for me to have peace within and in my heart I needed to change. I needed to calm down, relax, be me with as little aggression as possible. Control my situations by doing the right thing and standing up for what I believe in. Don't get me wrong I can still step up the aggro when necessary, but I have done what I could personally to keep it away as long as possible with great results.

This last year though right when I have had it under control, I have been tested. I have had friends backstab me, friends show their true colors, People mistreating me because they are PMS'ing, or because they feel like it, Family causing drama and jealousy, and high school clique antics far past high school, etc.. And in the end many of these things hurt me and my normal reaction was to turn aggro and control their situation, treat you worse than you treated me.... As I get older I get more sensitive I guess.. however I realized how well I stuck to my guns and the plan for me to be a better person. How well I have handled myself and how my path has changed. Its all how I react, all how I deal with it. And as we close the year in a few weeks and I put this behind me.. I hope I do even better in the following year.